< vanishingson < musings








25 sept 99.


the following came to me while i lie flat & motionless in the shower, recovering from last night's long-island-ice-tea binge, and when it came to me, my soft crying turned to gentle laughing, the kind of laughter that flows when you realize you've tapped into something, a realization that will eventually transform you and enlighten you and free you.



think of two people you care deeply about. then envision yourself falling in love with both of them.

what kind of burden, what kind of torture, must that feel like?


THE KEY TO ALL GROWTH, HEALING AND EVOLUTION LIES IN
UNDERSTANDING THE OTHER PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW.


i'm signing off and shutting down for a while, to put these past 2 years away, to put it into a little digital box and throw away the RSA-encrypted key.   to start fresh ... to clear away the cobwebs in the deepest corners of my inner mind, just as moving to the bay area and san francisco, the finest non-american american city on the planet, cleared away the cobwebs of my waking mind and let me see so many things differently.

see you on the flipside.




Time goes from present to past.   - Dogen Zenji musings

1998: toward the light >
05 jan 99. they unavoidably change.
10 jan 99. we hide behind our screens.
17 jan 99. which path?
10 feb 99. extremely vivid dream.
20 feb 99. misc thoughts.
21 feb 99. surfer in the water.
23 feb 99. brainstorm 1: love output equation.
06 mar 99. sleeping under the 580.
14 mar 99. mingling.
23 mar 99. antidote for selfishness.
04 apr 99. little heartbreaks.
06 may 99. unexplained early rise.
15 may 99. brainstorm 2: human-web evolution.
15 may 99. storm on the horizon.
20 may 99. first drive.
28 may 99. 2nd flashback.
31 may 99. selective reality.
10 jun 99. the tell-tale email.
11 jun 99. exposure & tears.
13 jun 99. 5 seconds.
27 jun 99. visual effects artist.
03 jul 99. i close my eyes.
06 jul 99. healing touch.
09 jul 99. episode 11.
10 jul 99. dj rap in berkeley.
14 jul 99. 4 days after bt.
26 jul 99. struggling with Real.
30 jul 99. net trippin.
15 aug 99. san diego sparkles.
29 aug 99. skyy vodka ad fails.
09 sep 99. when the thoughts stop.
15 sep 99. foreboding.
20 sep 99. bubble states.
25 sep 99. waking.
06 oct 99. episode 16.
04 nov 99. brainstorm 3.
feb 11. final entry.
Linda.