With a lot of guidance, I was able to produce a small booklet in 1991 called "Beyond the GodForce." It is a little spiritual guide book -- one worth reading. Since 1996, I've been working on a novel where I hope to integrate more of these experiences into a fun, but important, look at the nature of What Is and the continuum of life. I call it "A Kindred Spirit."

I can trace my own experiences back to things that happened when I was a child. Ideas I had when I was very young. Like believing (at age four) that I had lived in Mesa, Arizona, even though I was born and raised in Ottumwa, Iowa.

But for now let's pick the following incident as a starting point.

On April 20, 1976, my friend Sandy and I were returning from a trip to Evanstan, Illinois. We had visited the campus at Southern Illinois University where she would be going to college. I needed a vacation. My dad had just passed away a month earlier and I wasn't handling it very well. He and I had plenty of fights over my growing interest in Buddhism. Eastern ideology and midwestern bible-belt beliefs mixed about as well as oil and water at that time, especially for a small town blue-collar laborer like my dad. We hadn't reconciled, or really even discussed, my formulating ideas when he slipped into a coma.

For a short time he regained consciousness and called for me. Asked Mom for me to come to his bedside. When I arrived in his hospital room, he was quoting something that sounded like bible passages. Something about getting rid of our worldly possessions so we wouldn't covet what belonged to our neighbors. Something like that. He said that I should get everyone to sign a peace treaty so we could truly have Peace on Earth. Believe me, it was more than strange and I was very shaken by it.

Just a few days later he died. I was there. I passed out then and again at the funeral home when I saw him in the casket. He was 87 and I was 20 years old. (Those circumstances and our special relationship is a another story, one I touch on in AKS.) Anyway, when Sandy convinced me to go on the trip to Illinois, it was a welcome relief from the stress of the circumstances. We enjoyed the drive, the country-side and our companionship. It was on the way back, when the incredible events unfolded.

We left on Saturday, but it was now the wee morning hours of April 20 -- Sunday, Easter Morning. It was pitch black, stars were out, and in the rural countryside the stars were extremely vivid. Sandy was driving and I was looking at the stars. I remember saying to her, "I wish a UFO would reveal itself to me." That triggered a discussion about whether or not we would get on a spaceship if we had the opportunity.

Suddenly we both stopped laughing and just looked at each other. Something unusual was beginning to happen. First the air felt different, lighter -- more ethereal. Then the light inside the car actually changed. It was brighter, or clearer.

Sandy was still driving and she said, "I'm thinking about your dad. It's like he's here with us." At that exact moment I could sense his presence. I didn't see him, but I could FEEL his presence. Sandy said, "I'm thinking of that picture of him. You know, that one in the living room." I had been thinking of the same photograph. I felt that if I turned and looked, I might see that image of him in the back seat. But, instead I felt light and airy. As if I was floating away. I can only relate what I was experiencing. Sandy later told what she saw and heard.

I felt like I was drifting out of my body. As though I was somehow merging with the Universe. I knew I was having a "spiritual encounter" with my father. Those words actually came into my mind. "This is a spiritual encounter. This is Universal Knowledge." Those are the words I heard, that I later said were emblazoned in my mind. Time had no meaning. An eternity was the same as a moment. I was part of something indescribably beautiful. I KNEW everything in an instant. The true nature of reality. Buddhists call this Satori -- Enlightenment. Everything is open, revealed -- true clarity. I knew that Dad had merged with All That Is -- the Universe. That he would not appear to me or communicate again. That he was at perfect peace and would not come back or reincarnate. That his journey was complete and everything was exactly as it should be.

Gently, I felt I was returning to my normal state of awareness. I felt sad to leave that peaceful, perfect place, but I knew I had to. My journey was just beginning and there would be work for me to complete in this life. At some point I became aware of my actual surroundings again. By then, Sandy had pulled the car over to the side of the road. There are no words for the expression on her face. It wasn't fear, it was more a state of awe. We both just sat there, stunned. Finally, she spoke first asking, "Do you remember those things you said?"

"I know what I was feeling and experiencing." I wasn't aware that I had said anything aloud. Of course, I was still trying to assimilate what HAD happened.

She repeated the same terms I had heard in my mind. "Spiritual encounter". "Universal Knowledge emblazoned in my mind." I had said them aloud and now she was repeating them. Again, we just looked at each other.

"Did I move?" She shook her head, "No, you were very still, barely breathing. I should have been scared, but I felt peaceful."

"Yeah, so did I." We kind of laughed. I told her that everything was fine now. That Dad was confirming that I was on the Right Path and that he was at peace. I KNEW this. Of course, any skeptic or psychology 101 student would say it was my mind rationalizing so I could reconcile my unorthodox beliefs and the trauma of my dad's death. But I know what happened, what I felt and experienced. It was a life altering experience.

That was April of 1976 -- Easter Morning. Even though I never actually thought of Jesus, it WAS a resurrection -- a rebirth. I was totally and completely transformed by that experience. Never again would I have the slightest doubt about the Afterlife. I know now, as I did in that moment, that we do not actually die. Our spirits, or souls, continue.

Twenty five years have passed since that happened and it is as vivid now as it was then. I can recall the exact sensation of floating; feeling that every molecule in my body was expanding and merging with All That Is. That everything truly is "as one." That we begin life as a single tiny molecule and we will return to that state when we physically die. There is consciousness, awareness in the most infinitesimal. The smallest unit of life and total expansiveness are really One -- the same.

The spark of creation that is our essence will always continue.

What I know now, even more clearly, is that we have choices. Every day is a new day and we have a new opportunity to clear any past transgressions. To forgive others and ourselves, and live a life of purpose and meaning. We can live in a way that allows us to have a clear conscience. If we do not intentionally harm others or ourselves, we can be healthy, whole and fully aware. Disease is simply "dis- ease" and it's caused when we allow anxiety, fear, hate or other negative feelings to create an imbalance. It is possible to be completely at ease -- a state of harmony, balance and contentment. If we live in that way, there is nothing to fear and so much to experience.

I was reminded today, "the door is open." It's never too late to forgive, accept and move forward on our Path. That path may look different or unique to each person. But, if we live in an honest, humble, healthy way without judging or harming others, that path will lead us Home. Call it Heaven, Nirvana or simply back to the Source.

The Preface to "Beyond the GodForce" states,

"As books go, this one is not very big in size. Don't let that deceive you. In an era of information overload, this may be all we need -- a simple reminder to look within.

The real information we need is not in a book or accessed through a computer -- it is within ourselves. We have direct access to this information; we've just forgotten how to retrieve it.

So, think of this little book as a reminder; a string around your finger. Once you've remembered you no longer need the string."

Perhaps I don't have to write volumes after all! But, just for fun, I do want to complete my novel. And, in case you need another "string" I'll post this and "My Grandmother's Ring" on my website while I go back to writing "A Kindred Spirit." Enjoy life and be good to yourselves and others.

*** jami © 2001 E.J. Morgan All rights reserved.