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an energy-send to my compadre Mimi -- a reminder that bonds between friends never decay.
written: 15 may 99, saturday morning, 9:30 am.
spinning: inViolet, "One Step Away"
what is it about the singer, center stage, alone,
isolated, in her zone, her moment, eyes clenched shut,
face contorted with pain,
arms swaying, body twisting and
struggling, voice wailing and clear, releasing pure energy. radiating a white-hot anger and aura.it's heavy in her grief-stricken
voice -- it permeates and penetrates like an air raid siren,
waking up within me the anger and childlike rage
that yearns to claw its way out.
something dormant. something that wants to shriek, to scream, to lash out. to build up pressure inside itself higher and higher until it self-destructs with a ground-zero intensity, turning to light, engulfing and consuming everything around it, leaving nothing but a charred battered landscape. itself gone, with no evidence that it ever existed.
i'm smashing my little white hatchback into a million pieces with a large baseball bat.the smoky nightclub air becomes pregnant with synergy and heat. no one notices the singer's form rise a millimeter off the stage.
i'm slumped down in the shower, exhausted from a burst of tears, my face being caressed by an artificial rainfall from a metallic showerhead.
i do not look forward to what awaits.