"Time goes from present to past."   - Dogen Zenji Jan 10, 99   Jan 05, 99   Dec 30, 98   Dec 20, 98   Dec 17, 98   Dec 15, 98   Dec 6, 98   Dec 3, 98   Nov 15, 98   Nov 1, 98   Oct 24-25, 98   Oct 17, 98   Oct 11-12, 98   Oct 98   Sept 98   Aug 98   July 98   June 98

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written:	17 jan 99. afternoon. hwy 1 towards pescadero beach.
spinning:	"Thunderbird" by Hans Zimmer (from the Thelma & Louise soundtrack)

simple pleasures, finite days. the rain splatters and bounces off my windshield.   each one a random, numb teardrop, caught up in the windswept wetness outside.   the sun is hiding.   the twisting, grey ribbon laid out before me tugs and pulls at my car like terrain on a steed.   to my right and down below, the pacific ocean stretches out away from me, majestic, endless, awesome, its waves rolling and crashing against the land, restless from the storm. i am faced with some hard decisions, visiting this place to focus, to decide, to seek comfort and guidance.   i try to see into the future -- what will this path bring, what will that path bring?   which is right?   which is wrong? the road twists and turns in continuous soothing motion.   the rain rolls across my field of view.   i am so alone at this moment, so conflicted ... i look off the hwy, down to the rocks below.   i see a family running along the rain-drizzled beach.   a child and a dog sprinting exuberantly, full of joy, nature's wet hands caressing their innocent, carefree faces. their image freezes in my mind, the wisdom of their innocence permeates me. there is no right path to take, no wrong path to take.   you can't map out your entire future.   when faced with a heavy decision & choice, you consider the options, the pros and cons.   and then you clear your mind, take a long, slow breath, and go with what feels right.   effortless. intuitive. no apprehension.   trust in your instincts and judgments.   trust in letting go of the illusion of absolute control. for happiness is not found by choosing a certain path.   it is found in those priceless moments along the way, regardless of path.   it is your partner, right there with you, during your travels.   seek it in the simple things that exist all around you and right in front of you.   for the future is truly unknown and unwritten.   make your life's decisions not with the future in mind, but with the here and now in your heart. thanks, mecia, wherever you are.